A Heart-to-Heart

I told a friend of mine just yesterday that one of the things I am so thankful for in our church is that, while I feel too overwhelmed sometimes to just flip my Bible to a page and read and glean some deep meaning from it, every Sunday I'm given the opportunity to dig deeper into the Word throughout the next week.

So, today I was feeling beyond frustrated (over some non-adoption things).  I prayed, telling God where I am in my human-ness, my frustration, and I heard back, "Of course you're frustrated over this, I am not in them."  And I felt drawn back to what my pastor preached on Sunday.

I turned to Ephesians 4, and read:

¹⁷ So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. ¹⁸ They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. ¹⁹ Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
²⁰ That, however, is not the way of life you learned ²¹ when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²² You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
²⁵ Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶ “In your anger do not sin”^[d]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸ Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

And as frustrated as I was before, I am so thankful for the relationship I have with my Father, who takes the time to calm me down, talks to me through His word, and then guides me in what I need to work on myself.  You know, Abba, I'm really enjoying our heart-to-hearts.

Melted Like Wax

Once again, thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to give you all the glory!

One week ago, I wrote that we had decided to use another homestudy agency, a change that would save us $1000 and be less restrictive as we move through this adoption process.  There were actually two agencies, both with similar fees, and we were unable to decide which to move forward with.  It was a very difficult decision to try to make.

Yesterday, I wrote the blog post $937, asking for prayer as we faced a small mountain getting in the way of us moving forward with our homestudy.

I left a message with the Assistant Director of the homestudy agency we were leaning toward last week, but due to their office moving and training classes, she was not available at all last week, and very little this week.  I received a message from her yesterday afternoon, and I emailed her back this morning with several questions.  

Two hours after sending that email, Scott called me to tell me our mountain had "melt[ed] like wax before the Lord" (Psalm 97:5) in the form of a bonus he didn't know was coming.  And it's coming tomorrow!  We can't ignore God's timing in this, waiting until we spoke with just the person we needed to before having the money to move forward.

I've spoken again with the homestudy agency and with the placing agency, and we are THRILLED that we were shown the correct path to take, after much prayer over this decision.

To everyone who has covered us in prayer, thank you!  To everyone who contributed toward this fundraising goal, thank you!  We have enough to pay our homestudy fees, post-placement fees, criminal/background checks, and my passport fees!  PRAISE GOD, FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!

 

For the King and His Glory

"Coincidence is God performing a miracle while maintaining his anonymity."

One of my favorite quotes was written by a man named Bill Irwin, who thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail.  2,180 miles of varying terrain, through thick forests and open balds, down into valleys and over high ridges. 

That's a tremendous feat for anyone, but especially so for Mr. Irwin.  He is blind.  No white blazes to guide him, no way of knowing for sure that he was still on the trail.  When a blind person hikes alone (and Mr. Irwin is not the only blind hiker) and can't tell if they're on the right path, they stop and wait for help to come.

We've started our own journey completely blind, not knowing where the trail would lead us or from where our provision would come.  We only knew that if we weren't sure about the next step, we would wait for help to come.

Help Came!!!  I am hand-delivering a certified check for $7,225 to our agency at 4:00.  Scott and I did not do this.  We did not make this happen.  I promise, I'm not that influential.  I'm not a salesperson, I'm not in the marketing business.  And if you know my husband, you know he isn't either.  


This past week was completely, undeniably, perfectly the work of my God, who says "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." (Matthew 21:22)  We do not believe in coincidences.  We believe in miracles. We do not believe it was a coincidence that our paperwork made it into the right hands and had a signature in four working days in our daughter's country. 

Had we been given more time to fundraise, we could claim the glory for raising the money we needed.  We didn't have that extra time, so God receives ALL the glory for making this happen.  I cannot thank you all enough for allowing God to use your gifts for His glory, to help us reach our daughter on the other side of the world.

Faith

I went to bed last night, feeling very convicted about whether I had truly given up control regarding financing this adoption.  When we send these forms, we are also agreeing to send the $7,000 due to our agency within 7 days of our referral being received and accepted in country. 

My Bible was on my nightstand, so I picked it up to read for those few minutes between lying down and closing my eyes.  I wasn't looking for anything in particular, I just enjoy spending my last quiet moment of the day with God.

I had notes from a sermon tucked into a page, most likely shoved there as I rushed to get from my seat to the nursery, where I know Sadie will be upset if she's the last little one picked up.  I opened to that page, James 1.

If you're feeling convicted about giving up control, this is what you need to read.

"But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:6-8

With that, I closed my Bible and gave up that last bit of control.  Take it, Lord, this is too big for me.

A Five-to-Twelve Kind Of Guy

I was the Children's Ministry Intern for my church one summer, and the day before my internship was over, I still didn't have another job lined up.  There was a sweet woman who volunteered at the church, making copies, getting things ready for Sunday School classes.  She came into the Children's Minister's office, where she heard me talking about not knowing where I'd work after the summer ended.

What she said to me then didn't seem big, but it has stuck with me all these years, and has been my motto during times of waiting.  She told me, "Honey, God's a five-to-twelve kind of guy."  When I gave her a confused look, she told me that He comes in at the last minute, just before the clock strikes midnight, so we'll be sure to give Him the glory.  The next day, which was my last day at the church, I received a great job offer. 

This Tuesday, we'll take our first formal step into adoption, and it's really making me nervous that tomorrow is a holiday.  We need things notarized, we need important answers from people who won't be at work tomorrow because it's a holiday.  So, I get to wait until five to twelve, when God shows up.  Because this is His time, not mine.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Chandres

When bad news comes at 1:00 and fantastic news comes at 2:10, and the news is for two completely separate things that have become intertwined, I find myself in my flesh.

After the blow of today's bad news, I was totally expecting the other news I was waiting on to be equally bad.  But it wasn't.  It was the best news we could hope for for!

Which has my feelings so mixed.  I know God's going to show His perfection in the situation, as He always does.  I know that I can't speed up His timing, even though my timing looks better on paper (not that I have His plan on paper to compare mine to).  That would mean that I am in control.  To be at peace, I need to give the control to God.  And it's hard.

I did my human thing, made a couple of phone calls, sent an email.  Impressive, huh?  Alright God, let's see what you can do!  Praying, and asking for prayers to be lifted up for us.