This is probably the #1 question I get regarding our adoption. I don't mind answering any adoption-related questions, but I really wish I could answer this one with a specific date. Of course, Scott just booked a business conference for late September, so that probably means we'll have some big adoption-related conflict!
We are now six months into this adoption, so I had to write a letter to the children's government, detailing where we are in preparing our dossier, and when we plan to submit the final copy of our dossier for approval. This is to make sure they know that we are still moving forward with the adoption. Of course, I wanted the letter to be PERFECT, so I spent about 2 hours writing and re-writing it. I heard from our stateside agency that I am awesome, so I assume that means my letter will keep everyone happy!
And I got what I consider to be great news today, even though it's going to be a little more work for me. Throughout the process, we have to get LOTS of documents notarized, then apostilled by the state. Our foreign agency has requested that we scan over each document after it's apostilled, for them to translate. Which means we'll save several weeks by not sending over the whole dossier for translation after we have USCIS approval. I'm praying this means we'll travel in October, instead of November!
All this has me very excited, though I've got one number in the back of my mind: $12,000. That's the remainder of what we need by the time we travel ($4,300 for the remainder of our first trip fees, and $7,700 due as soon as we get home). It's a big number, but my God is a BIG GOD, and I have absolute faith that the money will be there when we need it!
I don't have any big fundraisers planned right now, especially since I need to spend a good deal of time working on paperwork for the dossier. If you would, please pray for our USCIS paperwork to be assigned to an officer quickly, pray for our funding, and pray for our whole family, especially the two who are waiting for us.
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
Another Son For Our Family!
This month, Scott and I have been in continuous prayer. We had to walk away from Cullen mid-May, and didn't know what we'd do with our approval to bring home two children. It was hard for me to think about adding another child to our family, because I felt guilty that Cullen was still waiting for a family, and I felt like I was betraying him.
Then, early in June, I saw a post by a social worker whose life revolves totally around orphans, whether it's taking care of the ones she's adopted herself, or advocating for ones without families, or tackling piles of paperwork for the many families she's helping to bring their own children home.
Her words were: "I was asked this morning by someone in an EE country, 'Why has no one chosen this child? Why has he waited so long? What is wrong with him?' Those questions break my heart. My guess is that he's still waiting because he is a boy. The girls this age w/Ds are chosen very quickly. He's been waiting 15 months :("
As I looked at the picture, I wondered the same things. Why had no one chosen him? His dark brown almond eyes stared into the camera, his fine hair brushing just above his eyes, so much like Elijah's did when he was a baby. I showed the photo to Scott, and he asked for more. We got a few more photos, including one I remember seeing of him as a toddler. And then we prayed. All month, about whether or not he was ours.
We didn't want to rush, we wanted to take our time, really wait to hear God on this. We prayed that God would make it very clear if the little boy was ours. Throughout June, money kept coming in, from the dolls, from my commission for renting my stepdad's vacation properties, selling a few things online. Every time I turned around, I had more money to add to the jar.
And Thursday, after being still, being quiet all month, I met Scott to sign and notarize documents, and then I wired money to pay the commitment fees. Commitment fees we didn't have at the beginning of the month.
So, what does this mean? It means we're trusting God to provide, just as He always has. But we're yes people, and when we hear "Go," we say "Yes."
Thank you all for your prayers, support, and love for our family!
Then, early in June, I saw a post by a social worker whose life revolves totally around orphans, whether it's taking care of the ones she's adopted herself, or advocating for ones without families, or tackling piles of paperwork for the many families she's helping to bring their own children home.
Her words were: "I was asked this morning by someone in an EE country, 'Why has no one chosen this child? Why has he waited so long? What is wrong with him?' Those questions break my heart. My guess is that he's still waiting because he is a boy. The girls this age w/Ds are chosen very quickly. He's been waiting 15 months :("
As I looked at the picture, I wondered the same things. Why had no one chosen him? His dark brown almond eyes stared into the camera, his fine hair brushing just above his eyes, so much like Elijah's did when he was a baby. I showed the photo to Scott, and he asked for more. We got a few more photos, including one I remember seeing of him as a toddler. And then we prayed. All month, about whether or not he was ours.
We didn't want to rush, we wanted to take our time, really wait to hear God on this. We prayed that God would make it very clear if the little boy was ours. Throughout June, money kept coming in, from the dolls, from my commission for renting my stepdad's vacation properties, selling a few things online. Every time I turned around, I had more money to add to the jar.
And Thursday, after being still, being quiet all month, I met Scott to sign and notarize documents, and then I wired money to pay the commitment fees. Commitment fees we didn't have at the beginning of the month.
So, what does this mean? It means we're trusting God to provide, just as He always has. But we're yes people, and when we hear "Go," we say "Yes."
Thank you all for your prayers, support, and love for our family!
A Girl and a Bear
There's a story my children have always asked to have read to them. For years, it's been one of their favorites, and just the other night, Elijah requested it again. Ayden read it to him, happy to enjoy the sweet story once again.
It's one many of you moms will know, but I'll summarize it anyway.
There was a little teddy bear, Corduroy, who lived in a department store. He waited with all the other dolls and toys to be chosen and taken home, but no one ever chose him.
One morning a little girl, Lisa, saw this bear, and knew he was the one she had always wanted. Her mother commented that he looked old and was missing a button, and they left the store. Corduroy was sad, but had a grand adventure looking for his missing button that night.
When Corduroy woke the next morning, still without a button, still looking old, there was the face of the little girl who loved him, despite his faults, his "defects". She had returned with all the money from her piggy bank to give Corduroy a home. Lisa left the store, carrying Corduroy in her arms. Back in Lisa's room, Corduroy looked around and said, "This must be home. I know I've always wanted a home!"
This week, my doll is in honor of Lisa, the little girl who loved her bear just as he was. It's in honor of all the moms and dads who are working so hard to bring their own Corduroys home, emptying their piggy banks, loving their sweeties regardless of their DNA or physical capabilities.
Meet Lisa, with Corduroy (book not included... my children would cry):
Bidding for Lisa and Corduroy is now open on the facebook auction page, and will run until Wednesday evening, at 8:00 EDT.
It's one many of you moms will know, but I'll summarize it anyway.
There was a little teddy bear, Corduroy, who lived in a department store. He waited with all the other dolls and toys to be chosen and taken home, but no one ever chose him.
One morning a little girl, Lisa, saw this bear, and knew he was the one she had always wanted. Her mother commented that he looked old and was missing a button, and they left the store. Corduroy was sad, but had a grand adventure looking for his missing button that night.
When Corduroy woke the next morning, still without a button, still looking old, there was the face of the little girl who loved him, despite his faults, his "defects". She had returned with all the money from her piggy bank to give Corduroy a home. Lisa left the store, carrying Corduroy in her arms. Back in Lisa's room, Corduroy looked around and said, "This must be home. I know I've always wanted a home!"
This week, my doll is in honor of Lisa, the little girl who loved her bear just as he was. It's in honor of all the moms and dads who are working so hard to bring their own Corduroys home, emptying their piggy banks, loving their sweeties regardless of their DNA or physical capabilities.
Meet Lisa, with Corduroy (book not included... my children would cry):
Bidding for Lisa and Corduroy is now open on the facebook auction page, and will run until Wednesday evening, at 8:00 EDT.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Our First Homestudy Meeting
Last week, Scott and I (with tag-along Sadie) met our social worker to work on our homestudy. We brought a stack of paperwork for our file, and had time to chat about our families, our kids, and the adoption. We answered questions like "When did you first discuss adoption?", "Why special needs?", "Why an older child?", "Why two?"
Speaking one-on-one is so not my thing. Put me in the front of a room with a prepared speech and I'm good; set me up with a pen and paper, and I'll write you a book. But answering questions on the spot, that's hard.
The first three were easy. We've talked about adopting "one day" for years. We started seriously discussing it when Sadie was born, and my OB sat in the NICU with us and said "You're done."
And children with special needs, especially those who have Down syndrome, are not valued in their culture, locked away in institutions. We told her about the markers for Down syndrome when I was pregnant with Sadie, and that we felt our hearts were softened to children with Down syndrome through that.
As for the older kids, they're the least likely to be adopted. And our hearts are burdened for the older kids. We told her it felt more weird to think of replacing Sadie as the baby than it did replacing Ayden as the oldest, and our kids agree with that.
The tough question was "Why two?" How do we answer that? I couldn't come up with anything other than "That wasn't the plan!" The plan was one now, one later. None of this has happened how we thought it would. But that's the point of letting God do the planning, and not us.
We saw Cullen's picture, and knew we wanted to make him a Pickett. Yes, we know it's going to be harder. Yes, we know the adjustment will take longer. But we also know that he's worth it. We're preparing ourselves, reading every resource we can find on adopting an older waiting child, their specific challenges, and their blessings!
We're not building up this fantastical image of the kids immediately bonding to us and showering us with love and affection, but we're praying their minds and hearts will be ready for becoming part of our family. We're aware that they will need to grieve over the loss of their "normal" and especially the loss of the caretakers they have bonded with.
We've come to realize over these past few days that our social worker questioning our decision was very important for us to work through the "why two" question ourselves. And it has put us even more at peace with our decision, more excited about bringing home our two children!
Speaking one-on-one is so not my thing. Put me in the front of a room with a prepared speech and I'm good; set me up with a pen and paper, and I'll write you a book. But answering questions on the spot, that's hard.
The first three were easy. We've talked about adopting "one day" for years. We started seriously discussing it when Sadie was born, and my OB sat in the NICU with us and said "You're done."
 |
| My home away from home, in Sadie's pod in the NICU. Kangaroo time was her favorite! |
And children with special needs, especially those who have Down syndrome, are not valued in their culture, locked away in institutions. We told her about the markers for Down syndrome when I was pregnant with Sadie, and that we felt our hearts were softened to children with Down syndrome through that.
As for the older kids, they're the least likely to be adopted. And our hearts are burdened for the older kids. We told her it felt more weird to think of replacing Sadie as the baby than it did replacing Ayden as the oldest, and our kids agree with that.
The tough question was "Why two?" How do we answer that? I couldn't come up with anything other than "That wasn't the plan!" The plan was one now, one later. None of this has happened how we thought it would. But that's the point of letting God do the planning, and not us.
We saw Cullen's picture, and knew we wanted to make him a Pickett. Yes, we know it's going to be harder. Yes, we know the adjustment will take longer. But we also know that he's worth it. We're preparing ourselves, reading every resource we can find on adopting an older waiting child, their specific challenges, and their blessings!
We're not building up this fantastical image of the kids immediately bonding to us and showering us with love and affection, but we're praying their minds and hearts will be ready for becoming part of our family. We're aware that they will need to grieve over the loss of their "normal" and especially the loss of the caretakers they have bonded with.
We've come to realize over these past few days that our social worker questioning our decision was very important for us to work through the "why two" question ourselves. And it has put us even more at peace with our decision, more excited about bringing home our two children!
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
There's This Boy...
Several weeks after committing to our daughter, Scott started looking through photolistings again. Every few days, he'd email me a profile of an older boy, and every time I had to tell him he was looking in the wrong country. He just couldn't stop thinking that we were bringing home a boy, too.
My friend, Mandy, her husband, Marty, and their two kids had come to our home for dinner one evening, and I mentioned that Scott was looking for our son. The next night, I had a message from Mandy. It read, "Here's his profile :) No pressure... bring Cullen home, please, please, please ;)".
I clicked on the link, and I saw such a familiar face staring back from the screen, so much like the face of our daughter waiting in EE. And I knew. I ran down to our family room with the netbook to show Scott the profile, and then I left him alone.
All along, I've given the responsibility of softening Scott's heart to our child(ren) up to God, because I don't want this to be a Chandres thing. This is all about us following God's command, not Scott following his nagging wife's whines and pleas.
It has taken a lot of prayer, a lot of talking about whether we feel equipped to take on two more children, a lot of realizing that we're in for a BIG adjustment period. But when we look at his photo, we see our son. And that is enough to make us move forward.
I'd be lying if I said it wasn't scary, stepping further into the unknown. When you choose to adopt one child, everyone thinks you're doing something great; when you announce that you're adopting two, there is less happiness, and more worry in the responses. And that's okay. We're not adopting to earn praises, we're adopting in response to God's command for our family.
We are very, VERY excited that we are now adopting two children; in a sense, it's like finding out at the ultrasound that you're actually expecting twins! Of course, the kids are thrilled, but they'd be okay with us bringing home every child in EE so, as long as they're not upset, we'll take that as a good sign.
We can't wait to announce who we're adding to our family, and we'll be on the New Commitments page on Reece's Rainbow, hopefully within the next few days! In the meantime, this does add more agency fees, about $3500, and the foreign agency wants those ASAP. So, while I still feel weary from fundraising around $8,000 (and paying over $11,000) in two months, it is onward we go...
(And this is for my dad.)
My friend, Mandy, her husband, Marty, and their two kids had come to our home for dinner one evening, and I mentioned that Scott was looking for our son. The next night, I had a message from Mandy. It read, "Here's his profile :) No pressure... bring Cullen home, please, please, please ;)".
I clicked on the link, and I saw such a familiar face staring back from the screen, so much like the face of our daughter waiting in EE. And I knew. I ran down to our family room with the netbook to show Scott the profile, and then I left him alone.
All along, I've given the responsibility of softening Scott's heart to our child(ren) up to God, because I don't want this to be a Chandres thing. This is all about us following God's command, not Scott following his nagging wife's whines and pleas.
It has taken a lot of prayer, a lot of talking about whether we feel equipped to take on two more children, a lot of realizing that we're in for a BIG adjustment period. But when we look at his photo, we see our son. And that is enough to make us move forward.
I'd be lying if I said it wasn't scary, stepping further into the unknown. When you choose to adopt one child, everyone thinks you're doing something great; when you announce that you're adopting two, there is less happiness, and more worry in the responses. And that's okay. We're not adopting to earn praises, we're adopting in response to God's command for our family.
We are very, VERY excited that we are now adopting two children; in a sense, it's like finding out at the ultrasound that you're actually expecting twins! Of course, the kids are thrilled, but they'd be okay with us bringing home every child in EE so, as long as they're not upset, we'll take that as a good sign.
We can't wait to announce who we're adding to our family, and we'll be on the New Commitments page on Reece's Rainbow, hopefully within the next few days! In the meantime, this does add more agency fees, about $3500, and the foreign agency wants those ASAP. So, while I still feel weary from fundraising around $8,000 (and paying over $11,000) in two months, it is onward we go...
(And this is for my dad.)
Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war, with the cross of Jesus going on before. Christ, the royal Master, leads against the foe; forward into battle see his banners go!
At the sign of triumph Satan's host doth flee; on then, Christian soldiers, on to victory! Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise; brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
Like a mighty army moves the church of God; brothers, we are treading where the saints have trod. We are not divided, all one body we, one in hope and doctrine, one in charity.
Crowns and thrones may perish, kingdoms rise and wane, but the church of Jesus constant will remain. Gates of hell can never gainst that church prevail; we have Christ's own promise, and that cannot fail.
Onward then, ye people, join our happy throng, blend with ours your voices in the triumph song. Glory, laud, and honor unto Christ the King, this through countless ages men and angels sing.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Q&A #1
The number one question we're asked is "Why aren't you adopting domestically, when there are so many kids who need homes here?"
It is a very fair question, and I'll give you our honest answer, one that we spent a lot of time working through ourselves. First, let me say that we didn't discuss our initial desires to adopt with many people, and the people we did discuss it with have gone through or are going through adoptions of their own, or people we could trust to help us work through our thoughts without trying to force theirs on us. Even our families knew nothing about it (and I am very proud of my children for not saying anything, as they have been part of the discussion almost since Day 1).
We first looked at domestic waiting child adoption, and after speaking with several agencies, they did not feel our family would be ideal for the majority of the waiting children they were working to place. Most of the waiting children are in therapeutic foster care, and some cannot be around other children or animals, for the safety of the children and animals. This was the case for every specific child or sibling group we inquired about.
We then began looking into adoption through foster care, and attended orientation. Scott and I were excited about the possibility of adding to our family this way, but it was bothering Elijah that the placements would most likely not be permanent, or would take a long time to make permanent. We also discussed the challenges of homeschooling our biological kids and sending off to public school our foster kids. Simply trying to adopt a child that becomes available for adoption through the foster care system is very difficult, as 85% of foster children who become available for adoption are adopted by their foster parents.
We were asked why we didn't look into domestic special needs adoption, and I'm actually happy to say that there's a waiting list for the sweet babies with Down Syndrome whose mothers choose to give them life. International adoption may seem expensive, once you factor in three agencies' fees and travel expenses, but domestic adoption can be just as, or more, expensive.
So we found ourselves looking into international adoption, and here we are!
It is a very fair question, and I'll give you our honest answer, one that we spent a lot of time working through ourselves. First, let me say that we didn't discuss our initial desires to adopt with many people, and the people we did discuss it with have gone through or are going through adoptions of their own, or people we could trust to help us work through our thoughts without trying to force theirs on us. Even our families knew nothing about it (and I am very proud of my children for not saying anything, as they have been part of the discussion almost since Day 1).
We first looked at domestic waiting child adoption, and after speaking with several agencies, they did not feel our family would be ideal for the majority of the waiting children they were working to place. Most of the waiting children are in therapeutic foster care, and some cannot be around other children or animals, for the safety of the children and animals. This was the case for every specific child or sibling group we inquired about.
We then began looking into adoption through foster care, and attended orientation. Scott and I were excited about the possibility of adding to our family this way, but it was bothering Elijah that the placements would most likely not be permanent, or would take a long time to make permanent. We also discussed the challenges of homeschooling our biological kids and sending off to public school our foster kids. Simply trying to adopt a child that becomes available for adoption through the foster care system is very difficult, as 85% of foster children who become available for adoption are adopted by their foster parents.
We were asked why we didn't look into domestic special needs adoption, and I'm actually happy to say that there's a waiting list for the sweet babies with Down Syndrome whose mothers choose to give them life. International adoption may seem expensive, once you factor in three agencies' fees and travel expenses, but domestic adoption can be just as, or more, expensive.
So we found ourselves looking into international adoption, and here we are!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Waiting on God's Timing
I was hoping to write a post last Friday (actually I've been waiting to write that particular post since the end of January) but, for whatever reason, things are just not moving as I planned.
I was going to write about how excited we are to have our names on the Deed of Trust, after a 22-month start-to-finish process of selling our last home, moving into our new home, and finally closing on our new home. But that is not the point of today's post.
The Cliff's Notes version of the story is that we put our home on the market in May 2010, had a contract in August 2010, missed the closing date for September, October, and November, and closed on the sale of our home at the VERY end of December 2010. From September to December, we were having to constantly extend our rate lock-in, because our buyers' loan took so long to go through.
By the time our buyers did get approval, our lock-in had expired, and we were not able to get in touch with the lender to extend the lock-in in time. So we moved into our home, with a seller-financed mortgage, We were on hold for a year, in order to show payments to the same lender for twelve months.
We began the purchase process again in December 2011, and got our pre-approval back on December 27, 2011, exactly one year from the day we moved in. 30 days until closing turned into 60 days, and "definitely by Friday" turned into "should be Monday". The emotional roller coaster we rode from August to December 2010, and now from December 2011 to March 2012 has been difficult. I've been frustrated, I've cried, I've wanted to give up.
And that's what I had to do. I had to give up relying on myself (or the bank) when I should be relying on God. If I'm being honest (and I am), one of my biggest flaws is depending on MY plan, and having a hard time accepting GOD'S plan when I think mine sounds better.
How does this relate to our adoption? I can look at timelines all I want to, try and figure out when we'll be traveling, and when we'll be bringing our daughter home, but none of that carries any weight. The timing will be in God's hand, as it always is, and I am learning to accept that through our struggles with buying our home.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Follow You
Sometimes I can sing along with a song without really focusing on the meaning behind the words. But sometimes the words of a song resonate with me, and express so much better what I want to say. Here is my prayer..
You lived among the least of these
The weary and the weak
And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away.
All my needs you have supplied.
When I was dead you gave me life.
How could I not give it away so freely?
And I'll follow you into the homes that are broken.
Follow you into the world.
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God.
Follow you into the World.
Use my hands, use my feet
To make your kingdom come
Through the corners of the earth
Until your work is done
The weary and the weak
And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away.
All my needs you have supplied.
When I was dead you gave me life.
How could I not give it away so freely?
And I'll follow you into the homes that are broken.
Follow you into the world.
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God.
Follow you into the World.
Use my hands, use my feet
To make your kingdom come
Through the corners of the earth
Until your work is done
'Cause Faith without works is dead
And on the cross your blood was she'd
So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I'll follow you into the homes that are broken.
Follow you into the world.
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God.
Follow you into the World.
And on the cross your blood was she'd
So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I'll follow you into the homes that are broken.
Follow you into the world.
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God.
Follow you into the World.
"Follow You" by Brandon Heath
Oh God, use my hands and feet for Your glory. Give me the words to say what needs to be said. I am following You, to meet the needs of the poor and the needy. To bring one home, and advocate for the rest. Amen.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Sadie is On Board!
Ayden and Elijah are way, way on board with this adoption. It's evident from the two HUGE piles of toys that I need to price for a local consignment sale coming in March, from the change that keeps appearing in our jar, from the things they say. As Ayden was going through her Barbie containers, she said "Mommy, I'll sell all of my toys if it means [my sister] can come home!" Elijah even got out all the puzzles he's outgrown, including the ten or so Thomas puzzles, and added them to the consignment pile. Sadie's so young, we just tell her she's getting another big sister, show her the photos, and leave it at that.
Last week I picked up a print of one of the photos we got from the agency and put it in a frame. It took Ayden only seconds to spot it the following morning; she was literally halfway down the stairs after waking up and spotted the photo in the dining room. "Look what I see!"
I had a friend over for coffee one morning this week, and as soon as she walked through the door, Sadie grabbed the photo and took it to my friend to show it off, happily squealing "Baby, baby!" Apparently Sadie is on board, too!
Last week I picked up a print of one of the photos we got from the agency and put it in a frame. It took Ayden only seconds to spot it the following morning; she was literally halfway down the stairs after waking up and spotted the photo in the dining room. "Look what I see!"
I had a friend over for coffee one morning this week, and as soon as she walked through the door, Sadie grabbed the photo and took it to my friend to show it off, happily squealing "Baby, baby!" Apparently Sadie is on board, too!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
1 of 1,000
These adoption families amaze me, really, truly amaze me. You have people who are in the middle of their own financial hurdles, trying to raise money to bring their own sweet children home, and they hear we need help, and all of a sudden, our need is on their front burner. My friend, Mandy, created a facebook event called 1 in 1,000 HERE to get 1,000 people to give $10 each, to raise the $10,000 we need right now.
When we posted that we were taking a step of faith, we were expecting a 2-3 week wait before we heard anything back from the country. We just got the call from the placing agency that the country officially matched us with our daughter (in only FOUR days)! Which means the placing agency fees are due in SEVEN days, and we need to have the homestudy started in the next two weeks to provide the country with that initial information.
I've got the fee breakdown on the "Priceless" tab at the top, and I'm adding a second ticker, because the ChipIn ticker only shows what we've received in online donations, and doesn't take into account the cash and checks we've received.
Thank you all for your prayers, support, and donations! Our vacation giveaway is still going, so anyone who donates will be entered to win 6 nights in Pigeon Forge!
When we posted that we were taking a step of faith, we were expecting a 2-3 week wait before we heard anything back from the country. We just got the call from the placing agency that the country officially matched us with our daughter (in only FOUR days)! Which means the placing agency fees are due in SEVEN days, and we need to have the homestudy started in the next two weeks to provide the country with that initial information.
I've got the fee breakdown on the "Priceless" tab at the top, and I'm adding a second ticker, because the ChipIn ticker only shows what we've received in online donations, and doesn't take into account the cash and checks we've received.
Thank you all for your prayers, support, and donations! Our vacation giveaway is still going, so anyone who donates will be entered to win 6 nights in Pigeon Forge!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Status, and Transparency
We sent our documents to the placing agency (again), who will be sending them to the foreign agency (again). As long as there are no errors on the paperwork, we'll get the originals apostilled, and send them to the country!
I spoke to the homestudy agency at the beginning of the week to see when we needed to begin that part of our process. During the conversation, I asked if there would be any issues with us adopting out of birth order; they said they do everything on a case-by-case basis, and that they would hold a special committee meeting to decide if they would work with us. Well, we heard back today, and they felt we did our research and took our biological children's development, needs, etc. into consideration when we made the decision, so they'll work with us!
After reading a friend's blog post about the need for financial transparency when fundraising for an adoption, I quickly realized that we need an easy way to keep personal and fundraising money separate. We're going to add all fundraising proceeds to a savings account specifically for our adoption, and any checks that need to be written will be certified and written directly to the recipient (agencies, FBI, etc.). So, unless you hand us cash, we'll never touch the money, and even that will go straight to the savings account.
Speaking of fundraising, our BIG Vacation Giveaway is running through February 13, and random.org will choose the winner on Valentine's Day! So check out this post to see how it works, and click on the ChipIn at the top of the page to enter!
A HUGE Thank You! to everyone who has already donated, shared, and sent words of encouragement!
Chandres
I spoke to the homestudy agency at the beginning of the week to see when we needed to begin that part of our process. During the conversation, I asked if there would be any issues with us adopting out of birth order; they said they do everything on a case-by-case basis, and that they would hold a special committee meeting to decide if they would work with us. Well, we heard back today, and they felt we did our research and took our biological children's development, needs, etc. into consideration when we made the decision, so they'll work with us!
After reading a friend's blog post about the need for financial transparency when fundraising for an adoption, I quickly realized that we need an easy way to keep personal and fundraising money separate. We're going to add all fundraising proceeds to a savings account specifically for our adoption, and any checks that need to be written will be certified and written directly to the recipient (agencies, FBI, etc.). So, unless you hand us cash, we'll never touch the money, and even that will go straight to the savings account.
Speaking of fundraising, our BIG Vacation Giveaway is running through February 13, and random.org will choose the winner on Valentine's Day! So check out this post to see how it works, and click on the ChipIn at the top of the page to enter!
A HUGE Thank You! to everyone who has already donated, shared, and sent words of encouragement!
Chandres
Sunday, January 15, 2012
A Five-to-Twelve Kind Of Guy
I was the Children's Ministry Intern for my church one summer, and the day before my internship was over, I still didn't have another job lined up. There was a sweet woman who volunteered at the church, making copies, getting things ready for Sunday School classes. She came into the Children's Minister's office, where she heard me talking about not knowing where I'd work after the summer ended.
What she said to me then didn't seem big, but it has stuck with me all these years, and has been my motto during times of waiting. She told me, "Honey, God's a five-to-twelve kind of guy." When I gave her a confused look, she told me that He comes in at the last minute, just before the clock strikes midnight, so we'll be sure to give Him the glory. The next day, which was my last day at the church, I received a great job offer.
This Tuesday, we'll take our first formal step into adoption, and it's really making me nervous that tomorrow is a holiday. We need things notarized, we need important answers from people who won't be at work tomorrow because it's a holiday. So, I get to wait until five to twelve, when God shows up. Because this is His time, not mine.
What she said to me then didn't seem big, but it has stuck with me all these years, and has been my motto during times of waiting. She told me, "Honey, God's a five-to-twelve kind of guy." When I gave her a confused look, she told me that He comes in at the last minute, just before the clock strikes midnight, so we'll be sure to give Him the glory. The next day, which was my last day at the church, I received a great job offer.
This Tuesday, we'll take our first formal step into adoption, and it's really making me nervous that tomorrow is a holiday. We need things notarized, we need important answers from people who won't be at work tomorrow because it's a holiday. So, I get to wait until five to twelve, when God shows up. Because this is His time, not mine.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Born In Our Hearts
Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
Yet still miraculously my own.
Never forget for even a minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
You grew in it.
Nor bone of my bone,
Yet still miraculously my own.
Never forget for even a minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
You grew in it.
-Unknown
As Scott and I searched photolistings of children, we wondered how we could ever make the "right" choice, if none of the children would be a "wrong" choice. All are in need of a mommy and daddy, all have lived without a family for too long, whether they are only months old or are 5 or 9 or 16 years old. But still, we searched for the one who spoke to both our hearts.
And there she was... her beautiful smile and captivating eyes made us stop. We both knew, she was the daughter born in our hearts.
We immediately requested more information about her, and after reading everything we received, we asked what we needed to do to move forward. Now, we have begun the process of applying to be "matched" with our daughter. There will be many forms to sign, many miles to travel, many days, weeks, and months to wait, but it will all be worth the reward of having her in our family.
We pray that God will move the mountains before us. We pray for provision. We pray for our daughter, her caretakers, and the officials and caseworkers in her country and ours who will be handling our case. We praise God for the blessing of friends who have traveled this path before us, and the family and friends who are supporting us as we begin this journey.
We look forward to the day we can share our daughter with you, when she is home with us, with her family. The family she has waited nine long years to have.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Nerds and Free Spirits
I'm a nerd. Scott is a free spirit. Which may seem odd, considering I'm the crafty one, and he's the chemist. But by Dave Ramsey's standards for our family budget, that's how it is. And it's spilling into the adoption search.
Scott's all over these international adoption websites, picking out about 20 different kids he'd be happy to bring home, from many different countries (and continents), and with a broad range of medical needs (his biggest stipulation is that they be able to go on hikes with us eventually). He'd ask me to email every agency, if he thought I'd actually do it. (I've only emailed one for him, one for me, and told him no more until we have a homestudy in the works, at least.)
As he's free-spiritedly going along, I'm writing down descriptions of fees, punching in numbers on the calculator, and shaking my head at some of the more outrageous costs (let's just say that there are some regions of Russia I've already had to say absolutely NO to considering).
So there you have it. I'm a nerd. Scott's a free spirit.
Scott's all over these international adoption websites, picking out about 20 different kids he'd be happy to bring home, from many different countries (and continents), and with a broad range of medical needs (his biggest stipulation is that they be able to go on hikes with us eventually). He'd ask me to email every agency, if he thought I'd actually do it. (I've only emailed one for him, one for me, and told him no more until we have a homestudy in the works, at least.)
As he's free-spiritedly going along, I'm writing down descriptions of fees, punching in numbers on the calculator, and shaking my head at some of the more outrageous costs (let's just say that there are some regions of Russia I've already had to say absolutely NO to considering).
So there you have it. I'm a nerd. Scott's a free spirit.
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Least of Them
I've been all over the place in my Bible today, not really feeling like I was where I was supposed to be. I stumbled upon a blog this afternoon, where the header was Proverbs 24:12. I backed up one verse in my Bible.
Proverbs 24:11, 12 - Deliver those who are being taken away to death, and those who are staggering to slaughter, oh hold them back. If you say "See, we did not know this," does He not consider it who weighs the hearts? And does He not know it who keeps your soul? And will He not render to man according to his work?
My footnote reads: "The excuse of ignorance is not acceptable."
I keep going back to James 1:27 - Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress...
Pure religion. Not legalistic or works-based. Pure. How can I ignore that? And so began my study for the evening.
Romans 2:13 - For it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified. (emphasis mine)
Galatians 3:11 - Now that no one is justified by the Law before God is evident; for "the righteous man shall live by faith". (referencing Habakkuk 2:4)
Hebrews 10:38 - But My righteous one shall live by faith; and if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him.
Okay, God, I really want you to take pleasure in me. I mean, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). By You. To bring glory to You. How can my goal be to do any less than that? Sure, I'm human, I make mistakes, and I'm so far from perfect I don't even register on the scale. But if shrinking back from living out Your plan brings you displeasure... wow. Talk about fear of the Lord.
So, on the subject of judgement...
Matthew 25:34-40 - 34 "The the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' 37 Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38 And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' 40 The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'" (emphasis mine)
Oh, my heart is aching. My mind has been full of thoughts of "the least of them" for some time now. Even in my sleep, they're there. My husband asks me several times a day why I'm so quiet, and it's because their sweet faces are there. The little ones who are hungry, thirsty, naked, in prison.
Proverbs 24:11, 12 - Deliver those who are being taken away to death, and those who are staggering to slaughter, oh hold them back. If you say "See, we did not know this," does He not consider it who weighs the hearts? And does He not know it who keeps your soul? And will He not render to man according to his work?
My footnote reads: "The excuse of ignorance is not acceptable."
I keep going back to James 1:27 - Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress...
Pure religion. Not legalistic or works-based. Pure. How can I ignore that? And so began my study for the evening.
Romans 2:13 - For it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified. (emphasis mine)
Galatians 3:11 - Now that no one is justified by the Law before God is evident; for "the righteous man shall live by faith". (referencing Habakkuk 2:4)
Hebrews 10:38 - But My righteous one shall live by faith; and if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him.
Okay, God, I really want you to take pleasure in me. I mean, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). By You. To bring glory to You. How can my goal be to do any less than that? Sure, I'm human, I make mistakes, and I'm so far from perfect I don't even register on the scale. But if shrinking back from living out Your plan brings you displeasure... wow. Talk about fear of the Lord.
So, on the subject of judgement...
Matthew 25:34-40 - 34 "The the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' 37 Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38 And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' 40 The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'" (emphasis mine)
Oh, my heart is aching. My mind has been full of thoughts of "the least of them" for some time now. Even in my sleep, they're there. My husband asks me several times a day why I'm so quiet, and it's because their sweet faces are there. The little ones who are hungry, thirsty, naked, in prison.
There are so, so many waiting children. As Scott and I look through the different advocacy websites, we're overwhelmed by all the options. Country, age, disability, etc. I know the direction I want to go, but I'm praying that God will lead Scott and me, together, to our waiting child.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Resolutions, Part 2
And this is the part that scares me, because I still have no idea where we're heading.
FAMILY
As most of our friends and family know, and unless God has some BIG surprises in store, we are finished having biological children. After our trials during the first weeks of Sadie's life, Scott and I listened to the advice of my Ob/Gyn and made the difficult decision not to have more biological children. We knew then that we weren't finished, but we filed those thoughts away in the backs of our minds.
We made it through even more trials this past summer, as we made the decision, with Sadie's cardiologist, to surgically close the big hole in Sadie's little heart sooner than later. Once the stress levels lowered and we were feeling comfortable, that nagging feeling started. The thoughts we had put off for all our good and justifiable reasons were surfacing. Family... adoption...
Allow me to go off on a tangent. At the end of 2010, we moved into a home with an extra thousand square feet, an extra bedroom, and a fantastic yard. We saw God working throughout the home selling/buying processes, and I heard Him ask "So, what will you do with these blessings?" Sure, in our last home, we were a bit cramped, with all the baby gear, but that's all gone now, and we could easily fit two twin beds in Ayden's old room. My grandparents raised a family in a 900 sq. ft. home, and we had almost double that in our last home. And now an extra 1,000 sq. ft. So our new home is a blessing. And we had to decide how we were going to use that blessing to glorify God.
We decided on the Foster/Adopt program through our local Department of Social Services. Scott and I went to an Orientation, and have spent several weeks filling out applications (114 questions, answered in essay form), getting references, drawing house layouts, fire escape plans, and we'll be fingerprinted next week. We looked at each other while answering some of the longer questions and asked "Seriously, there are people who go through ALL this just for a stipend?" It's very, VERY detailed. And then we'll have an intense month of classes that will take up EVERY Saturday morning and afternoon and most Tuesday evenings.
And, while we're filling out this paperwork, and knowing that we're doing what we're called to do, commanded to do, God speaks to my heart through two little boys being adopted from Eastern Europe by a friend of mine. I've been following her blog for several months, praying for her adoption, thinking "How great for their family, but not mine. We're doing the whole foster/adoption thing."
And my heart is divided. Not in the sense that I'm not sure which direction is right, but in the sense that I believe we have a child in our area, and another child on the other side of the world. I feel totally crazy (seriously, 5 kids?!?!), but totally at peace. And, as if knowing we wanted to have two more mouths to feed wasn't enough to put my mother into cardiac arrest, I want to adopt a special needs girl from Eastern Europe. Cue heart attack, mental breakdown, sleepless nights for my mother.
I've been getting emails for several months from different adoption advocates worldwide, and I've been praying for the children and their future families. There were photos and descriptions of sweet children that broke my heart, but not until Thursday did I receive a photo and description that not only broke my heart, but gave me such a strong sense of desire that I was truly overcome by my emotions. I spent hours praying and crying, asking God to please not let Scott think I've lost my mind. To please not let him think this was just a wrench in his plans to retire early and hit the trail for 6 months out of each year.
I waited until Friday morning before I told him (he really would think I was nuts if I woke him up at 1:30 a.m. to tell him I wanted to bring a special needs child home from Eastern Europe), and as I expected, he wasn't moved by her photo. "She's cute, but we can't handle special needs, we can't afford an international adoption, TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS?!?!"
So many husbands are totally opposed to the idea of adoption in general, and I really am fortunate that Scott wants to add to our family through adoption. My resolution is to continue working on getting our child here, while praying for God's plan for growing our family through an international adoption. I'll be praying for the sweet girl who has no name attached to her description, whose adoptive family was unable to complete the adoption. I so badly want to go right now and rescue her from a terrible fate in a mental institution (she'll turn 6 in the spring, which is the typical age for transfer), but I know that I can't. I don't even know if she's intended for our family, but I know that I can't erase her sweet face from my mind. I'm just praying. For her, for us, for us to realize God's plan. And in the meantime, I'm thanking God that my husband has heard His call to adopt.
Happy New Year, friends.
FAMILY
As most of our friends and family know, and unless God has some BIG surprises in store, we are finished having biological children. After our trials during the first weeks of Sadie's life, Scott and I listened to the advice of my Ob/Gyn and made the difficult decision not to have more biological children. We knew then that we weren't finished, but we filed those thoughts away in the backs of our minds.
We made it through even more trials this past summer, as we made the decision, with Sadie's cardiologist, to surgically close the big hole in Sadie's little heart sooner than later. Once the stress levels lowered and we were feeling comfortable, that nagging feeling started. The thoughts we had put off for all our good and justifiable reasons were surfacing. Family... adoption...
Allow me to go off on a tangent. At the end of 2010, we moved into a home with an extra thousand square feet, an extra bedroom, and a fantastic yard. We saw God working throughout the home selling/buying processes, and I heard Him ask "So, what will you do with these blessings?" Sure, in our last home, we were a bit cramped, with all the baby gear, but that's all gone now, and we could easily fit two twin beds in Ayden's old room. My grandparents raised a family in a 900 sq. ft. home, and we had almost double that in our last home. And now an extra 1,000 sq. ft. So our new home is a blessing. And we had to decide how we were going to use that blessing to glorify God.
We decided on the Foster/Adopt program through our local Department of Social Services. Scott and I went to an Orientation, and have spent several weeks filling out applications (114 questions, answered in essay form), getting references, drawing house layouts, fire escape plans, and we'll be fingerprinted next week. We looked at each other while answering some of the longer questions and asked "Seriously, there are people who go through ALL this just for a stipend?" It's very, VERY detailed. And then we'll have an intense month of classes that will take up EVERY Saturday morning and afternoon and most Tuesday evenings.
And, while we're filling out this paperwork, and knowing that we're doing what we're called to do, commanded to do, God speaks to my heart through two little boys being adopted from Eastern Europe by a friend of mine. I've been following her blog for several months, praying for her adoption, thinking "How great for their family, but not mine. We're doing the whole foster/adoption thing."
And my heart is divided. Not in the sense that I'm not sure which direction is right, but in the sense that I believe we have a child in our area, and another child on the other side of the world. I feel totally crazy (seriously, 5 kids?!?!), but totally at peace. And, as if knowing we wanted to have two more mouths to feed wasn't enough to put my mother into cardiac arrest, I want to adopt a special needs girl from Eastern Europe. Cue heart attack, mental breakdown, sleepless nights for my mother.
I've been getting emails for several months from different adoption advocates worldwide, and I've been praying for the children and their future families. There were photos and descriptions of sweet children that broke my heart, but not until Thursday did I receive a photo and description that not only broke my heart, but gave me such a strong sense of desire that I was truly overcome by my emotions. I spent hours praying and crying, asking God to please not let Scott think I've lost my mind. To please not let him think this was just a wrench in his plans to retire early and hit the trail for 6 months out of each year.
I waited until Friday morning before I told him (he really would think I was nuts if I woke him up at 1:30 a.m. to tell him I wanted to bring a special needs child home from Eastern Europe), and as I expected, he wasn't moved by her photo. "She's cute, but we can't handle special needs, we can't afford an international adoption, TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS?!?!"
So many husbands are totally opposed to the idea of adoption in general, and I really am fortunate that Scott wants to add to our family through adoption. My resolution is to continue working on getting our child here, while praying for God's plan for growing our family through an international adoption. I'll be praying for the sweet girl who has no name attached to her description, whose adoptive family was unable to complete the adoption. I so badly want to go right now and rescue her from a terrible fate in a mental institution (she'll turn 6 in the spring, which is the typical age for transfer), but I know that I can't. I don't even know if she's intended for our family, but I know that I can't erase her sweet face from my mind. I'm just praying. For her, for us, for us to realize God's plan. And in the meantime, I'm thanking God that my husband has heard His call to adopt.
Happy New Year, friends.
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