I went to bed last night, feeling very convicted about whether I had truly given up control regarding financing this adoption. When we send these forms, we are also agreeing to send the $7,000 due to our agency within 7 days of our referral being received and accepted in country.
My Bible was on my nightstand, so I picked it up to read for those few minutes between lying down and closing my eyes. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, I just enjoy spending my last quiet moment of the day with God.
I had notes from a sermon tucked into a page, most likely shoved there as I rushed to get from my seat to the nursery, where I know Sadie will be upset if she's the last little one picked up. I opened to that page, James 1.
If you're feeling convicted about giving up control, this is what you need to read.
"But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:6-8
With that, I closed my Bible and gave up that last bit of control. Take it, Lord, this is too big for me.