This month, Scott and I have been in continuous prayer. We had to walk away from Cullen mid-May, and didn't know what we'd do with our approval to bring home two children. It was hard for me to think about adding another child to our family, because I felt guilty that Cullen was still waiting for a family, and I felt like I was betraying him.
Then, early in June, I saw a post by a social worker whose life revolves totally around orphans, whether it's taking care of the ones she's adopted herself, or advocating for ones without families, or tackling piles of paperwork for the many families she's helping to bring their own children home.
Her words were: "I was asked this morning by someone in an EE country, 'Why has no one
chosen this child? Why has he waited so long? What is wrong with him?'
Those questions break my heart. My guess is that he's still waiting
because he is a boy. The girls this age w/Ds are chosen very quickly.
He's been waiting 15 months :("
As I looked at the picture, I wondered the same things. Why had no one chosen him? His dark brown almond eyes stared into the camera, his fine hair brushing just above his eyes, so much like Elijah's did when he was a baby. I showed the photo to Scott, and he asked for more. We got a few more photos, including one I remember seeing of him as a toddler. And then we prayed. All month, about whether or not he was ours.
We didn't want to rush, we wanted to take our time, really wait to hear God on this. We prayed that God would make it very clear if the little boy was ours. Throughout June, money kept coming in, from the dolls, from my commission for renting my stepdad's vacation properties, selling a few things online. Every time I turned around, I had more money to add to the jar.
And Thursday, after being still, being quiet all month, I met Scott to sign and notarize documents, and then I wired money to pay the commitment fees. Commitment fees we didn't have at the beginning of the month.
So, what does this mean? It means we're trusting God to provide, just as He always has. But we're yes people, and when we hear "Go," we say "Yes."
Thank you all for your prayers, support, and love for our family!