Our First Homestudy Meeting

Last week, Scott and I (with tag-along Sadie) met our social worker to work on our homestudy.  We brought a stack of paperwork for our file, and had time to chat about our families, our kids, and the adoption.  We answered questions like "When did you first discuss adoption?", "Why special needs?", "Why an older child?", "Why two?"

Speaking one-on-one is so not my thing.  Put me in the front of a room with a prepared speech and I'm good; set me up with a pen and paper, and I'll write you a book.  But answering questions on the spot, that's hard. 

The first three were easy.  We've talked about adopting "one day" for years.  We started seriously discussing it when Sadie was born, and my OB sat in the NICU with us and said "You're done."

My home away from home, in Sadie's pod in the NICU.  Kangaroo time was her favorite!

And children with special needs, especially those who have Down syndrome, are not valued in their culture, locked away in institutions.  We told her about the markers for Down syndrome when I was pregnant with Sadie, and that we felt our hearts were softened to children with Down syndrome through that.

As for the older kids, they're the least likely to be adopted.  And our hearts are burdened for the older kids.  We told her it felt more weird to think of replacing Sadie as the baby than it did replacing Ayden as the oldest, and our kids agree with that.

The tough question was "Why two?"  How do we answer that?  I couldn't come up with anything other than "That wasn't the plan!"  The plan was one now, one later.  None of this has happened how we thought it would.  But that's the point of letting God do the planning, and not us.

We saw Cullen's picture, and knew we wanted to make him a Pickett.  Yes, we know it's going to be harder.  Yes, we know the adjustment will take longer.  But we also know that he's worth it.  We're preparing ourselves, reading every resource we can find on adopting an older waiting child, their specific challenges, and their blessings!

We're not building up this fantastical image of the kids immediately bonding to us and showering us with love and affection, but we're praying their minds and hearts will be ready for becoming part of our family.  We're aware that they will need to grieve over the loss of their "normal" and especially the loss of the caretakers they have bonded with.

We've come to realize over these past few days that our social worker questioning our decision was very important for us to work through the "why two" question ourselves.  And it has put us even more at peace with our decision, more excited about bringing home our two children!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, 

whenever you face trials of many kinds, 

because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, 

not lacking anything. 

James 1:2-4